Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “What other people think of me is none of my business” is such an incredibly powerful self-development tool. When we are obsessed with what other people think of us, we prevent ourselves from reaching our true potential and realising our dreams. Here are my 6 Tips to help you in letting go of what others may think of you.
1. STOP ASKING FOR OPINIONS
Firstly if what others think of you affects you in an adverse way (bearing in mind that not all criticism is necessarily negative) then stop asking for opinions, particularly from anyone that is generally unhappy with their own life, who are hyper-critical of all things or maybe have an overall pessimistic view point on life. If you do need an opinion, look towards someone who is more content with their life and can offer a fair and balanced observation within their experience (always remembering that their experience will not necessarily be akin to yours).
2. YOUR OPINION CHANGES
You may be aware that even your own thoughts on others change all the time. The opinion you may have had of someone six months ago could be entirely different to the opinion you have of them today. It is even possible that your original opinion of a person was more based on your emotional or mental state than on the person itself. Keeping this in mind, if our own thoughts on others can change so quickly, why do we need to be concerned about what others are thinking in any given moment.
3. YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO PLEASE EVERYONE
Just as Abraham Lincoln famously observed, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time”, this is also true of trying to please people. You are never going to please people all of the time, regardless of what you do. Even as we journey along the path of making ourselves to be the best possible version of who we are, we will still encounter people that our actions will not please. Invariably the best way is to please ourselves.
4. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OURSELVES
Regardless of whether we please people or not, what they think about us for a moment or two doesn’t change the fact that we have to face and are ultimately responsible for the end result. It’s a lot easier for people to give advice and tell you how you should act and what you should do when they don’t have to face the consequences of your actions!
5. SOMEONE ELSE’S ADVICE MIGHT NOT BE RIGHT FOR YOU
Although taking advice from others can be helpful, it doesn’t always follow that a particular path that others took is the right path for you. Regardless of how others may think (or act), only you know what is in the best interest for yourself. Does this mean that you will always make the best decisions for yourself? Maybe not, but at least they were yours and any failures we have along the way add to our map of finding success. Essentially this is your life and you have to live it and live with it, the only way to do this is to consciously make decisions on what is best for you and not what decision would be best in order to appease the people that surround you.
6. LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS
Finally in the words of Shakespeare “This above all: to thine own self be true”. Let’s face it, as we navigate through our lives we are going to face some tricky if not some particularly hard decisions. In order to achieve our goals there may be moments where we have to put our reputation at stake or choose between pleasing others and maintaining our own integrity. Choosing to please others over being true to yourself will almost always lead to you living a life for those others and not that of your dreams.
First published by Destination Deluxe